Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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