Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
