I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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