It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
