I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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