your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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