this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
