But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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