last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
