What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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