Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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