This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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