sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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