First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
