Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
