my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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