The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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