Sry I called you an 8
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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