would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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