Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
