If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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