this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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