We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
