i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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