the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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