We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
