This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize