We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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