It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
