After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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