$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize