Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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