Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
