i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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