My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
