It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
