i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
