she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
