I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
