We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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