escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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