All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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