is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
