I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
