ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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