Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize