3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
