Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
