do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
