Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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