Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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