I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
