I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
