So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just had sex bonerless
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
