we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
