I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize