i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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