Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
