For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
