**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
