so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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