Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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